Arbonne Protein Shake Mix: A Review

Some time ago I had a chance to try both the Arbonne Protein Shake Mix and the Shakeology Protein Shake Mix through some friends. I had tried the Shakeology most recently and really enjoyed it, but when I looked at the price, I was aghast ($130, not including taxes and shipping!). For a long while, I set aside the idea of buying any sort of protein mix, but then, on a whim, I purchased the Arbonne mix and was quite impressed.

First of all, after taxes and shipping, the Arbonne mix is a couple dollars over $80 for thirty servings (the bag of Shakeology has the same number of servings). Obviously still not cheap by any means, but if you're thinking of dropping over $130 for Shakeology anyway, why not choose a less expensive, but comparable (in some regards) option?

So, this is really not a review of Shakeology, or even much of a comparison, because 1) I have extremely limited experience with Shakeology, and 2) I'm absolutely not a nutritionist - I can just read labels and compare numbers, but not get into the nitty gritty. With that said, the Arbonne mix tastes just as good as Shakeology, in my opinion, and keeps me full (and this is without adding anything, just water and the protein mix) from breakfast at around 7:00 until lunch time, around 11:00. That said, when one compares the nutrition facts (a link to Shakeology's here and Arbonne's is shown below), Shakeology is PACKED with vitamins and minerals. That said, if your overall goal is to eat something that is nutritionally sound and low-calorie to replace a meal, which is what I'm doing, or as a snack (both shakes are 160 calories), while also eating a balanced diet with lots of other nutrient dense foods, exactly how much either shake has for vitamins, minerals, and "power foods", really isn't that important. (In my non-nutritionist, purely based on my own opinion and research, opinion. I'm by no means a health professional.)



Okay, seriously, ALL THAT ASIDE, I really, really like the Arbonne mix, and not for price alone. I truly enjoy how it tastes, and as I mentioned above, I don't add anything to it, I just mix my scoops with some ice water and enjoy. There is a slight grittiness to the mix, which I think is pretty common amongst most protein shake powders. The texture is a total nonissue for me and I love the chocolatey flavor. I mean, the smell alone is wonderful. It seriously tastes a bit like chocolate milk to me and is a great little "treat" in the morning. It's also vegan, so if that's your game, then this is a safe option for you. It's not something that drew me to the product, but veganism is ever something I gravitate for this will be one product I won't have to give up.

The other thing I like is that this isn't linked with a fitness program. I'm not buying into some sort of fitness challenge by purchasing this product, but instead looking more at a cleaner, more health conscious lifestyle, which can include any kind of fitness I like, not something that's sponsored by Beach Body (which, I really don't have a problem with - I've purchased and used 21 Day Fix stuff and I think it's just fine, but maybe not my jam). You do (or can, I suppose), purchase it through a similar outfit to Beach Body, where there are essentially sales reps who earn money or credit or whatever (I'm not actually sure what they get) off your purchase. That said, you can just go to the website and make a purchase without involving anyone else, but I do have someone who I consult with and go through who is amazingly passionate and knowledgable about Arbonne products and I'm glad we're in touch.

So, to sum it up, if you are looking for a protein shake that is tasty, keeps you full, and comes from a company that encourages a lifestyle of health and beauty, I whole heartedly recommend Arbonne Chocolate Protein Shake Mix. It is good stuff.

An Update

Since school started up again (about a week and a half ago) I've been trying something a little different. I made the decision to try to eat more mindfully and to work out as much as I could find time to, and I also decided to take things day by day, week by week, to not make any goals beyond that, nor any plans. Well, I have to say, so far so good. This past week was a little shakier than the first week, but all in all, I've done much better than I had been doing and am going at a pace of something I can maintain rather than doing my usual full sprint ahead then falling down exhausted with an entire chocolate cake.

So, what exactly does this all look like? Well, first off, I am attempting to plan out my week in terms of when I can go run. I love running. It is my favorite. I love it more and more each time I go and take a stab at it, and when I just look at my week and see when I can do it rather than make a month's worth of planning things go much better. When I can't run I either don't work out or I do a kettle bell routine. Nothing I do, whether running or kettle bell, takes more than 30-40 minutes and, while my heart rate is definitely raised I can be sore the following day, it's not terribly intense.

As far as my nutrition and eating goes, this is a day by day, almost hour by hour piece of work. Prior to making the decision to be more mindful, I was ending my day stuffed to capacity every day, sometimes to the point of wishing I could make myself sick and empty everything out. That has stopped, and I've tried to eat mindfully, eat at our table versus the couch, and choose more nutritious foods. However, I am not counting calories or points. I'm not limiting myself to specific kinds of foods (though I am trying to back off sugar/desserts). And, when things haven't gone precisely as planned, I have made a point to not beat myself up, with mixed results (though, I will say, I feel considerably less guilt than I do when I'm on some sort of official plan).

As things stand now, I feel as though things are going pretty well. I still need to work on eating more mindfully and not using food to help cope with stressful days, but that will be something I will have to work on for the rest of my life, I think. However, this is a good route for me, being gentle with myself. I feel mentally well in this department when I do that, and there have been results, I think. I'm not weighing myself (I haven't yet thrown out our scale, but I think I will soon, if my husband doesn't object too much), but I know a few things are fitting me better than they had a couple of weeks ago. It's not a drastic change, and that's not really what I'm looking for at this point, but I won't say it's not nice.

I'm hoping that as work starts up again in full swing after next week, and my courses start next Tuesday that I'll be able to keep doing what I've been doing and don't let the added stress get me down too much.

Scary Territory

The idea of intuitive/mindful eating (paying conscious attention to what and how you're eating) is so incredibly frightening to me. I'd rather be on a restrictive diet than eat mindfully. I literally hear the words, "But the whole point of eating is to not think about it." That line of thought just conjures itself up naturally, but when I really listen to what I'm telling myself or type it here I realize how bizarre that sounds.

I spend a lot of time trying to avoid thinking about my food when I eat. I watch TV. I read. I work. On the rare occasion we're all at the table together with the TV off or NPR not going I will ask my husband and kids to just talk. I just want to listen. I can't even listen to music when I eat in the car, because it's not stimulating enough to distract me from thinking about my food, so I'll switch to talk radio. I will choose Glenn Beck (I'm a diehard liberal) over thinking about my food.

When I eat, whether for emotional or physical reasons, I want to eat mindlessly. On the face of it, I feel it's because I'm bored. I don't like just sitting there, eating. I want to listen to something, to unfocus, to let my mind go somewhere where I am not. I guess this is why eating is an escape for me. The eating fills me up, physically and emotionally while I also get to escape my reality for a little while. I cannot express the calm and joy and I feel in parking somewhere with food, turning on my radio or pulling open a book, and eating in my car.

Thinking about it now makes me feel that is really strange. Like, really fucked up.

My absolute biggest challenge in life is learning how to cope appropriately with negative emotion. I don't have healthy coping mechanisms for stress and depression, clearly, and I also don't have them when it comes to handling my anger, but that, as an issue, is somewhat separate from this one. I don't eat when I'm angry or anxious, at least when I'm not in the midst of it.

I feel like if I could just find a better way to destress, a better way to make myself feel as calm and good as eating while tuning out does, then I could get a handle on this. And I know that I need to start eating without anything else going on, when possible, but I just don't want to. I'd rather eat plain salad for the rest of my life if it also meant getting watch Real Housewives or read Outlander at the same time.

The Tao of Food

On principal, I think whole and "real" foods are fabulous. Having eaten my fair share of meals that fit that label I have to say that they taste better than a lot of the "other" stuff and it makes me feel good to eat like that, too. And let's not forget the benefits that are reaped by our local farmers and the environment when one eats a natural, whole foods diet.

But when does something that seems so good turn into a bad thing?

Well, when you have the kind of personality that doesn't allow for circumstance, accessibility and affordability, and isn't forgiving of moments when things just don't go as intended. When you're inclined to think like this what's left is a person who can't seem to allow herself any good choices, because, she thinks, what does it matter?

This has been one of my constant internal food battles. Right along with fighting that urge to eat up all my emotions, I've gone down to the mat with this need to eat the "right" and most "perfect" foods.

There's a whole mess of things at play here and a lot of it ends up leaving me mired in guilt. It usually begins with reading something. An article, a blog post - something that catches my attention and brings me straight to the food. Some lovely, slim woman touts the wonders of her mostly plant based, liquid diet that is so wonderful and she can't imagine eating any other way. Pictures on a favorite blog are filled with glowing, happy little children followed by beautiful foodscapes populated with homegrown veggies and local meat. An article explains in full detail how every aspect of my current diet is going to slowly and silently send me, my husband, and my two beautiful children to an early grave. I become riddled with guilt and not a small share of shame over what I have in my fridge and cupboards and vow to change it all.

It's almost like the binge eating cycle I know so well - the guilt, the vow to change, then the attempt to change... But that's just it, I never quite get the change. I'm so often stopped dead in my tracks as I try to plan my next steps to wean my family off of all processed foods, refined sugar, and the other food boogie men that are out there. I'm overwhelmed by the cost and the time needed to prepare and plan, by the fact that not everyone in my household will quietly accept such a big change. It's not that I don't want to change, I just don't know how. And when I can't affect that change, I once again find myself drowning in those waves of guilt and shame. I should be able to feed my family better - why can't I get my stuff straightened out? And then, so overwhelmed by my inability to do what I think I must, I simply give up, retreated back into the foods I know everyone will eat, even if they're not ideal, and wait for the guilt to build up enough to catapult me towards trying to (unsuccessfully) make that change again.

So, as I peruse Pinterest or visit my favorite bloggers, enjoying the visual feast before my eyes, I am indulging in a different sort of self-destructive behavior (or, at least it's self-destructive so long as I let it elicit certain emotions from me), but this is one I think I can handle more deftly than I have my urge to binge or overeat.

I am realizing that my food does not have to be "right" or "perfect", it just needs to be balanced and as good as I can manage. I am trying to tell myself that I must take each grocery shopping trip, each meal planned and eaten, each bite taken, as they come. I cannot eat perfectly every time I sit down to do so, whether your reference for perfect comes from how the meal is eaten to where the ingredients came from. I simply must do my best each time and the changes I want and need will come.

One of my favorite sayings right now is by Lao Tzu, the father of Taoism, and it goes like this: "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." This is something that I hold very close to my heart and have started to apply to all those situations where I feel like I must having everything just right right now. In this particular department, I have had to say to myself, "It is better to take one small step forward than none at all, even if it means sometimes taking a step back." I think it falls in line nicely with my new motto, because if I take those small steps towards my goal, at my own, natural pace, I will eventually accomplish everything I need to.

Small Victories

We went out to dinner Friday night to celebrate an award our daughter received at school (I'm raising a beautiful and brilliant little girl, by the way).

E., my daughter, has a favorite restaurant and that restaurant, is Applebees. I was kind of pleased to go, because, you know, they have all those lower calorie and Weight Watchers choices. So I perused the selection and was mildly enticed. But damn, I really wanted some freaking french fries.

So, I got a sandwich, with fries. But I also, for the first time ever, despite having read/heard this suggestion a billion, trillion times, got a take out box and put half my sandwich (and eventually have my fries) inside before I had even finished dinner. I also paused mid-meal to see if I was still hungry (I was).

This may not seem like a huge deal, but the fact that I was able to leave a restaurant without feeling like I was going to explode or be sick is pretty amazing. Small victories, right?

Dinner Time

I was really pretty comfortable, hunger-wise just before dinner the other night. I had been starving, of course, as I finished up my grocery shopping just a half hour before, but just as I was plating my food and getting ready to sit down, I thought to myself, "Geez, I'm really not that hungry right now." Now, granted, they weren't the full portions I would normally have. I cut my burger in half and only took maybe a third of what I would usually have in sides (in this case, baked fries and and cherry tomatoes).

But, I still ate my dinner. I couldn't help it. I really couldn't. For one, the burger was delicious. My husband doesn't cook a ton, but, oh boy, when he does, it's really good. Secondly, as I kept telling myself, I had been hungry, or so I thought, not so long ago, and if I didn't eat now I would likely be hungry later and would eat closer to bed time, which I didn't want to do.

But more than any of that, I couldn't stop myself from eating that delicious dinner, even though I wasn't hungry, because it was dinner time. How on earth could I be expected to sit at the table with my husband and kids while they enjoyed dinner and I just sat there and watched? And it wasn't as if I felt like I'd be missing out. I felt like it would be weird and uncomfortable because it's dinner time and I'm supposed to eat then.

I realize this is completely irrational. Why eat when you're not hungry? It's almost philosophical - it's only dinner time because I say it's dinner time. If I said it wasn't? Would it still be time to eat?

Making the Right Choice

In less than two weeks I've lost nearly twelve pounds. Intense, right? I won't deny being pleased, but I have myself freaked out at the same time.

The reason? I did it while following the Whole30 program. If you're not familiar with the Whole30, it's a thirty day elimination diet where you eat protein (usually meat), vegetables, healthy fats (coconut and olive oils, avocado, nut butters, but not peanut, ghee, etc.), and some fruits and nuts. The idea is that during those thirty days you cleanse your body, start to identify food issues, both emotional and physical, and, hopefully, lose weight.

Within a day or two of starting, the weight simply fell away. This isn't actually unusual, because I don't have an issue with losing weight as long as I'm really careful about how much I eat and am at least a little bit active. But this was crazy - I was losing a pound or more every day or two. I knew this kind of weight-loss couldn't be sustainable, but even after a week and a half, I was still dropping weight like it was hot.

What's more, I felt pretty great, too. I was staying full between meals, so no snacking, I had lots of energy, and couldn't say enough positive things about my experience. Even when I started feeling a little crummy and definitely grumpy, I wasn't too fazed, because it was to be expected, according to the Whole30 timeline. It was simply my body adjusting to all the new changes I was making in my diet. But then everything took a turn for the worse. Five days of heartburn, three of them absolutely excruciating, to the point where all I could do was lay in bed or sleep until it passed. I literally couldn't eat and dropped almost three pounds in two days.

I started to get scared, not because I thought my health was at risk from the heartburn or that this was even an unusual symptom (I googled it, and it's very common to have terrible heartburn during the Whole30 as things "cleanse" or whatever). I was scared because I was afraid to stop the program. I wanted to, desperately, but I was so, so afraid that if I stopped I would regain the weight I had started to lose. I didn't want to fail at this, especially since I had been so gung-ho about it.

In the midst of this, I went to see Dona, my nutritionist, and we started talking about binge-eating disorder and how well I seemed to fit into that particular category. She was fine with my continuing with the Whole30 if that's what I wanted, but her leeriness was obvious, as it had been every since I introduced the idea. After researching binge-eating disorder and how diets (even though I tried really, really hard to not categorize the Whole30 as such, so I could pretend it wouldn't be a problem for me) are a huge component of my (or anyone who binges) eat, repent, repeat cycle. I had initially thought of the Whole30 as "safe" because it wasn't a permanent change, but because I was depriving myself of so much I started to sense this could only end badly.

So, with the two week mark looming ahead, I stopped. I couldn't handle the stress of figuring out what to eat or how to avoid situations where I couldn't enjoy myself because of the food there. I couldn't handle the physical pain I was experiencing (side note: if you have some heartburn troubles, ginger kombucha helps tons!). And I could see something developing within me that could be very bad. The fear to stop doing something, even though I was thoroughly miserable, simply because it might mean I wouldn't lose as much weight or even gain some weight back, was a dangerous place to be, and I really, really didn't want to play that one out to see where it went.

I stopped and I felt immediately better emotionally. Fears went to sleep, though I still (then and now, because it's only been a very short time since I stopped) worry about regaining weight. As I move through this journey, I fully realize now, even if I might still be tempted, that any diet that significantly restricts what I can have is not a good idea for me, at least for now. Those who already have a healthy relationship with food may very well benefit significantly from the Whole30 or something similar. I won't deny the results I saw (weight-loss, improvement in my complexion and seasonal allergies), but the negatives, for me, were too great.

I'm not sure what's going to happen now. My new, short-term goals are to relax about my eating, but watch portions and to continue to go running. I'll be seeing Dona in a couple of weeks and then we can discuss what's next.

A Little Backstory

Let's jump in with something big, shall we?

I have been going to see a nutritionist, Dona, since 2012. I was at my heaviest then, a weight too embarrassing to share publicly. Between January 2012 and May 2012, I lost roughly forty pounds. It wasn't everything I felt I needed to lose, by a long shot, but it was a great start. That May, I got pregnant with my second child and trying to lose weight went out the window. I did try to continue to eat well, but pregnancy sure was a good excuse to overindulge (I thought).

After my son, M., was born, I obviously wanted to lose the baby weight and get back on track with healthier eating. Off and on I would go, through spurts of really trying to watch what I ate, going to see Dona regularly, and just generally being "good" about what I ate. And then I would go through bouts of total food annihilation. No foods (except for maybe veggies) were safe. I would eat and eat and eat. Maybe there would be a "good" day in between, but generally my eating habits sucked. Finally, enough days would go by where I felt like total crap when I went to bed, stomach too full to get comfortable, and the scale tipping just way too far in the wrong direction. Then I would feel very guilty - not too guilty, mind you, because I am excellent at rationalizing the things I do to avoid that very feeling - but still, that nasty turn of the stomach feeling would sneak in. 

Once that unsettling feeling of guilt finally got to me, I would lay awake at night and promise myself and the ethos that the next day would be better. I would call Dona and make an appointment (because, you see, I had already missed two). I would go for that run that I said I would do for the last two weeks. I would make sure I ate better. I. Would. Be. Good.

And then I would be "good". And then I would be "bad" again. And my weight? Well, luckily for me, it stayed roughly the same, until very recently, where in the last two months I gained about five pounds, then lost it and another ten with it (more on that later).

I ask you to notice two things about what I just wrote. First, note my focus on why I wanted to do better with my eating. Weight-loss. Now, I could write a whole post (and maybe I will) on the media and pop culture and women who are bigger than allowed by their standards, but for now I will say that I am like almost any other warm blooded American women in that I see these "standards" in which I am expected to live up and they scare me into thinking I better start laying off the cupcakes and doing that thirty-day ab challenge a bunch of my Facebook friends are doing. And, that's not to say that eating fewer cupcakes or doing crunches is a bad thing, because it's certainly not, but when it's not coming from an emotionally healthy place the results that come will likely soon be erased.

That brings me to the second thing I want you to see - my cycle. My cycle of "binge, repent, repeat" (Dr. Michelle May) is something I've done for as long as I can remember, though I never realized what a problem it was until I was older, just as I was starting to see Dona. I looked at it very distinctly as being "good" versus being "bad". The quotes around these words, by the way, aren't there for some weird, pretentious reason. They're there to highlight that the terms good and bad are very subjective here. I'm not out to actively harm myself when I eat poorly, though I surely am. And, to be honest, when I eat well, the reasons aren't always good ones (like improved health, better performance when I run, or longevity so I can enjoy my family for as long as possible). 

These two things are just parts of the multifaceted puzzle that makes up binge-eating disorder, a disorder with which I've been tentatively identified.

A definition from the Binge Eating Disorder Association: 
Binge eating disorder is characterized by recurring episodes of binge eating, feeling out of control while binging, and feeling guilt and shame afterward.

I can imagine some reading this and thinking, "Geez, why can't the fatty just stop eating? It's her own fault." And there isn't a whole lot I can say to counter that, because, on some level, I agree. But, the truth is, I can't "just stop" binging. It's my source of comfort when everything else around me feels out of control or fills me with anxiety. It's my cigarette, my beer, my opiate. Food is my drug*. There are chemical and emotional strings attached to every bite I take, and while I do not withdraw ownership over many of the food choices I make, both good and bad, each choice is tinged with this unhealthy relationship, which I have not chosen to have.

I'll end this by saying I'm not under any allusions that this is the same as a heroin addiction or will devastate my body and family in the same fashion as something like bulimia or anorexia, but it is a battle, my battle, and one that is long overdue.   



*And in fact, one of the risk factors of having binge-eating disorder is previous addictions.