Well, way back in the beginning of the summer I made the extremely arbitrary weight goal of 190 for August. Between my wham-bang weight-loss via the Whole30 (which was really a Whole12ish) and then doing a LOT of running, I lost 25 lbs. between June 1st and sometime in the last two weeks. I now have reached my weight-loss goal for the summer. (Yes, go ahead and do that math - I DID weigh that much, and no, I don't think I looked it either. Aren't I lucky?)
And guess what? I do feel this way! I mean, I didn't think I would. I honestly did not think I would feel significantly better about myself once I hit my goal, because everything I read says, "It's only a number on the scale," or "It's only a number on your clothes." Well, yeah, that's absolutely true, but it doesn't mean seeing a goal met or a being able to buy a size smaller isn't kind of amazing. I can't help but think about the last time I weighed 190. I was a freshman in college. Guys still hit on me (sorry, husband, but we both know it's true). There were clothes in J. Crew and Areopostle (how bad does that date me?) that fit me properly. It's like physically becoming a time capsule!
Of course, with this amount of weight-loss there have been other benefits - I can run and enjoy it (by far my favorite thing that's come of this). I feel great that I made and met a goal without making myself crazy. And I've learned so much about myself as a person this summer while working on my weight and overall health. The logical side of my brain, the part that wants to acknowledge the things that I'm supposed to acknowledge loves this stuff, but my more primal side (you know, the one left over from when I was about 19) is totally dying over the 190 lbs. and this picture:
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| Smokin', amairite? P.S. The dress is a size 14, a number I haven't seen on my clothes in 8 years. |
This is all fantastic. My self-confidence has been given a well deserved boost, as well as my health. I think the way things are going are maintainable and will only improve (I'm in the thick of dealing with emotional/food stuff with Dona right now). Part of me is slightly concerned that I'm going to become complacent and stop running or being active or trying to be less aware of my eating. I try to calm that part of me down by reminding myself that while I lost 12 lbs. through very strict food restriction and some exercise, the other 13 lbs. came off via running and not binging like I used to. In fact, I didn't even really notice losing the other 13. I had stopped weighing myself and then one day, decided to, just for the heck of it, and was really surprised.
I'm having a really good time just loving myself right now. Loving the way I look and the way I am. I have my flaws, and boy do I have a long road to travel, both in weight-loss and in other areas, but I am starting to feel like maybe I can say I'm pretty great and I'm definitely, definitely feeling hot (guess my hubs was on to something when he told me that the other day...).
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